The post I DID NOT want to write

****UPDATE**** 9/12/13
ANNA HAS A FAMILY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOD IS SO FAITHFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THANK YOU JESUS!!!

****************

If you’ve visited my Snowdrops blog today then you will see  that  I added another precious little lamb to my blog.

The ANNA post on my snowdrops advocacy blog was the HARDEST advocacy post to write for me thus far.  Every time I sat to write it, even though I knew I had to… I would weep uncontrollably.

I’ve decided to share something personal.Forgive me, but I am going to have have a little whine-fest.
If you’ve been following my facebook or blog, you will notice the spirit has been pretty heavy and deep.

The reason being: 

we’ve struggled for many many days in prayer  about whether Anna may be “OUR” daughter.

And, well…I just did not want to write “THAT” post on my other blog.
Honestly, I wanted to write a post that said “She was ours!!”
But, That is not God’s plan.
His ways are higher than our ways.
Our plans are not always His plans. 
At least, not now. 
And, I have to trust that. 
I have to trust HIM, and now do everything I possibly can to find this precious child of God HER family. The family that God has already planned for her. Because she has no time to waste.
It’s been a draining and emotional couple of weeks seeking GOD earnestly on this very hard decision. This has NOT been an easy surrender…my heart is struggling to accept it, actually.  
 The reason this is not an easy journey is because determining who your child is, is just NOT up to us. Do we get to choose which child God puts in our womb?
Well, I believe the same goes for our adopted children….The LORD determines which child is ours. 
God already KNOWS who our children are and it is up to us to seek out HIS will, to search HIS heart to find the ones who He has determined would be ours. He knows. We trust.
Oh, how I wanted to be chosen though. I wanted to be her momma. I wanted to “RUN” to her.
….we’ve cried, prayed, fasted, and sought God earnestly.
we’ve had an army of “secret” prayer warriors praying that we’d hear clearly from Him whether we have a green light or not to pursue her. Whether she was ours or not. We wanted more than anything to FOLLOW HIS leading.
…and, we were very careful to not let the “logical” reasoning affect our decision.  Because, the world will give us (you) many “logical” reasons as to why it would not be “wise” to pursue a little one with very severe and complicated heart defects …who will need many risky surgeries.
But, that is not where we were looking for answers.  Though, each thought you are probably thinking did cross our minds. But, teh world’s wisdom does not give peace. We did not let it weigh our hearts.  We looked to GOD and GOd alone for answers. He is the only ONE who gives peace.
THIS IS NOT ABOUT US.
Jesus commands us:  
“If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.”
It is not about OUR comforts, our security, our happiness, our dreams of perfection, “OUR”selves.
IT is about a little one on the other side of the world who needs a family who needs a hope. 
and you know what. SHE IS WORTH IT.
SHE IS WORTH our tears, our prayers, our loss of sleep,our fasting, all the emotional roller coasters, the seeking counsel, all the painful heartache.
When God opens your eyes to the needs of the “least of these”…the forsaken, the forgotten, the sick and the hungry….it may not always be to “adopt them”.
it may be, however, that He is calling you to simply “get uncomfortable”….
to get “interrupted”…
to “get challenged”…
to grow your heart, and be willing to expand your tent, and feel MOVED. 
 To not default to “logical worldly reasoning” but to consider this hard and scary question:
ARE YOU CALLING US, LORD?? (to pray over the possibility) 
 Because, you know what? 
God doesn’t call us to be comfortable, safe or even careful…. He calls us to follow him. Take up your cross, and follow hard after HIM!
HE calls us to follow radically. To forsake idols of comfort…
He calls us to abandon our fears, comforts and securities. 
And, so…when He laid this sweet one (who is SO IN NEED OF HOPE) on our hearts in a supernatural way, we could not look away. We didn’t want to.
I prayed that we may be HER family, that He’d CALL US!
He has answered my prayer, but He answered it with a “no”…this is not your daughter…at least, “not now”
I do NOT understand, and I can’t pretend to know the mind and will of GOD nor understand HIS plans…HIS big picture. 
I have to surrender.
AND THIS BREAKS MY HEART.
I want to know the mind of GOD! It frustrates me, actually!
BUT, I do know He has called us to speak up for her, to advocate for her, and to give her a voice!
So, here I am praying, praying this verse over this sweet one:
claiming it for her!! 
 Anna needs a hero family….a family who is willing to take a leap of faith for her if GOD is calling “them”, who will take the time to really search their hearts and seek God for answers.
So… now that you know “our story.” and heard my “pity-party”
This really is NOT about us. 
Let’s get to what is REALLY important here. Saving a little one’s life. Please help us.
I want to introduce you to: Anna
she is awaiting her ordinary hero. She needs a family to come to her quickly so she can get her life-saving heart operation. The agency who has her file has said that they could expedite this little one and get her home in 2-4 months from time of homestudy! SHE NEEDS help fast.

You can see her sweet videos here, she is precious beyond words and will steal your heart immediately as she has done to us. 
Please take the time to pray for her!!! 
Could YOU be the family He is rising up to HELP HER?
I am challenging you to ask God if she could be yours. To ask if  “He could be sending you?”
…and let her in to your heart.
And, certainly God may not be calling “YOU” to adopt her. But, I guarantee HE is using her story and many others like hers to open your eyes to the “needy”…the forgotten.
He is inviting you to GET UNCOMFORTABLE….
…to feel their pain and sadness
 and…. 
maybe to lose sleep praying for her.
Because those kind of prayers are EFFECTIVE.
Because, she needs prayer!
beacuse, she needs hope!
and beause SHE IS WORTH IT.

Anna’s name means “gift”
and we believe she will be the biggest gift to whatever family takes that leap of faith for her. She needs life saving heart operations.
She is 4 1/2 and is very small for her age, yet she is smart, developmentally on level (catching up quick)  and she is precious beyond words. 
FROM HEARTSENT’s site:

Anna has a heart defect; tricuspid atresia (from what we know), and she has not received any surgery yet. Due to the heart defect, Anna’s development has been delayed a bit, but she is not too far behind her peers. She is speaking in short sentences, such as, “Don’t play my toy!” (I love that one!) It is not at all uncommon for heart kids to have delays, so we are not surprised by this. Anna is a precious little girl who is very close to her nannies. We hope to have a family for sweet Anna very soon!
Update: We have a new heart scan, photos, and a short video of Anna! She is not thrilled with the people calling her name in the video, and I love the way she tries her best to quietly ignore them and keep walking. Smart girl! Current height: 33.85 inches; Weight: 26.5 lbs

 Oh to get a chance to hug her and tell her that help is coming!! Praying for her hope to come!
Praying for her miracle!
 For I know the plans<span class="crossreference" style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; text-align: start; vertical-align: top;" value="(A)”> I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper<span class="crossreference" style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; text-align: start; vertical-align: top;" value="(B)”> you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
(Jer. 29:11)

Please email Heartsent at:  iaap2000@gmail.com for more questions or to review her file.
Heartsent has said that they can get her adoption expedited.  
They will also be willing to transfer her file for a family who is logged in with another agency and willing to go to her.  (the mark of a good adoption agency).

PRAY with us for SWEET ANNA! That her family would find their “GIFT” soon and that she would get the medical help that she so  desperately  needs!

The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results. James 5:16



***for those that will read this and want to ask us: “are you planning to adopt again?” Please don’t. 😉 because here’s our answer: we don’t know what God is doing in our future. But, we do know our hearts are open…..if God speaks and shows us that we are, then we will share that amazing news….for now, we just wait on HIS timing and HIS plans and trust.

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5 thoughts on “The post I DID NOT want to write

Add yours

  1. Thank you for sharing your heart and the Spirit's outpouring and moving in your family. Love you. Praying over your snowdrops as I see them. What precious little ones – praying that God leads the family He has planned to each and every one – quickly!

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  2. Praying alongside you tonight. I love the way you share your heart. Keep it up–you make Him look good! Praying for Anna to taste and see that He is good and that He delights in her!
    Love you Friend!

    Like

  3. Advocacy can and is at times a heart-wrenching process. As you have stated, there may be another Anna in your future–God;s time is not ours. Your efforts to call attention to the needs of these precious children can only have one source–The Holy Spirit. Mom and I are so very proud…Love ya

    Like

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